All Alone...
Journal Entry:
Tue Jul 14, 2009, 8:12 PM
- Mood:
Neglect - Listening to: my radio
- Reading: my heart
- Watching: for a solution
I new it... i've said it all alone, that as soon as my mother died my family was going to abandone me... now it's official, they have left me under the stars and into destiny's care.
I've always said that people loves to harm but when one have the chance to defend one's self the world would see it wrong. It's like punishing a rape victim for bitting the jewels of her attacker.
My mother spended her life making others pity her and she always found a way to convince them even her brothers and sisters. According to them i'm a 'bad' daughter that tortured her mom with her hate. I never thought of calling the police on her because both my parents had brainwashed me that i didn't had right to talk, that my thoughts had no real meaning... and i believed them. In more than one occasion she (indirectly) told me that she only had me to help her clean the house.
Dispise of what you may think, with my father's death, the man who balanced his mockery about my feelings with slight jokes to make me smile, i felt like a door was opening for me finally run away free. He was my mom's shield, i couldn't deffend myself freely with him around. At his death bed, i told my mom that she better get a cleaning maid because i wasn't her servant. To make her family believe that i was a monster, she went as far as spraying herself with hot boiling water! She never specify that i burned her and very obviously she wasn't gonna say that it was all her doing, but let ther brothers and sisters speculate that is was me. You tell me... how on Earth was i capable of doing that is i had already been living on my appartment on the top floor far away from her????
As for this feud that have been on for years, her 'family' never really considered me nothing else but their sister's daughter. Now i've notice that not only have they taken my birth home, but also had suspended my cable which they were paing only for my mom. Now with the devil asleep, her 'family' can very much do what they want and it doesn't matter that i defend myself, they've fallen into my mom's scenario of 'the poor old lady', as my father repeatedly said: 'your voice doesn't count'.... and i thought that he was my friend.
If KARMA really exists, if there's a balance between good and evil and if there's justice on the cosmos, i sincerily believe that the wrong doers will be punish. Justice it's not blind, she's blindfolded. Let the punishment fit the crime. I got nothing to hide....i wasn't the one to throw in the first stone...the stones were thrown to me; all i did was deffend my fragile self.
All i got are Ozuna and you guys... other than that, i got no one... this time is final.
If something else goes wrong i'm sure i'll be a suicidal.
--
Come and visit my gallery I have much to show and fun artwork for all to see~! See you soon~!
--
'To inmaturity and Behond'... due to my mental health, i NEED to be an idiot...
For my fans:
Remember, i live on comments; not on faves.
--
Come and visit my gallery I have much to show and fun artwork for all to see~! See you soon~!
--
'To inmaturity and Behond'... due to my mental health, i NEED to be an idiot...
For my fans:
Remember, i live on comments; not on faves.
--
Come and visit my gallery I have much to show and fun artwork for all to see~! See you soon~!
--
Come and visit my gallery I have much to show and fun artwork for all to see~! See you soon~!
--
'To inmaturity and Behond'... due to my mental health, i NEED to be an idiot...
For my fans:
Remember, i live on comments; not on faves.
--
Come and visit my gallery I have much to show and fun artwork for all to see~! See you soon~!
--
'To inmaturity and Behond'... due to my mental health, i NEED to be an idiot...
For my fans:
Remember, i live on comments; not on faves.
Thats fine.Im busy too
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